Am I boiling up in anger and resentment and agitation inside because I am now seeing a new truth to a situation? Or is it because it is the middle of November? Or because I’m recognizing how paralyzing perfectionism is (again)? Or is it dark and cold? Staying in the present moment this week has been, overall, a challenge. Loving and accepting myself this week has been, overall, a challenge.
A challenge is okay. Loving and accepting myself are still fairly new things in the course of my life. Staying in the present moment is also new. New things take a long time to learn and we only get better by practicing.
Some reminders of what may be helpful:
- Seeking support, rather than reassurance
- Reading Brene Brown, Laura S., and other gentle writers
- Distract! Taking my mind off my mind. Engage with the world.
- Exercise and eat well
- Don’t go there, wherever there is. I’m vulnerable to taking anything and using it against myself.
- Being kind to others
- Dig deep into myself to find compassion and gentleness. The nasty anger is dominant now, but that doesn’t mean it’s the only feeling inside of me.
- Gently remind myself, following Andrea Gibson, that other people feel this too
- Gently remind myself that it’s only as big a deal as I make it in my head
- Gently remind myself that I am responsible for myself. This situation belongs to me, not to anyone or anything else.
Desiderata– Max Ehrmann
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.