Author Archives: scrabblinact

full weight of everything

The reality is that no one yelled. No one hit. No one was overtly cruel or intentionally harmful. Violence? Neglect? Abuse? No, never, these were not things that happened in our home growing up. We read books. We played board … Continue reading

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“if you do not own your story, it will own you”

I keep reading and rereading the beautiful words that come from this blog. I keep saying it over and over- if you do not own your story, it will own you.  Your story is being told either way.  It is … Continue reading

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who knows why

Music in the heart tonight:   the only way in is through / and I am trying to get through … who knows why / things wind up the way they do

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She doesn’t want to run away this time

Six years ago on New Year’s Eve a dear friend experienced a sexual assault. A year and a half later she started talking about it but stopped when it became too much, too overwhelming. Other symptoms took over, requiring attention … Continue reading

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the little things

One day you notice it doesn’t seem so hard anymore. A scary, confusing dream, but you didn’t wake up shaking in sweat, in terror. A train ride with your boss and you find yourself overwhelmed by gratitude that you get … Continue reading

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Writing update

I’m thinking about real writing. I’ve published under a pseudonym recently. I wonder what it would be like to own those emotions, those words. I have a lot to say. I just want to know “it’s okay” to say. And … Continue reading

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Choose to be okay with not knowing why

You want a reason, a label, a point-to, a know-how.  You want to know why. Why you sleep through the night, but feel exhausted when your alarm goes off. Why you suddenly have no taste for the morning, no desire … Continue reading

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